“One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” -Chinese Proverb

“Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.” –Plautus

In our digital age, many actions are done with a couple of clicks: purchasing, updating statuses, checking texts, texting ready-made replies to others, and so on.  Unlike before the digital age, most of the ways we interact and do things have changed being mainly on computer or telephone, and this change has made it easier for us to become impatient.  It’s not that we have all of a sudden become impatient; rather, our impatience has become more apparent from using digital technology for interaction and doing things.  We expect people to reply to texts, to like statuses, and to help us in stores immediately (which causes us to come across as rude) as we expect computers or phones to allow us to perform actions quickly.

This is an extreme drawback because patience helps us in several ways.

Picture © Daniel Hanna 2013

1. Solving problems

Patience gives us time to think and solve problems.  When we calm ourselves and sit in silence, we are able to process our problems better and come up with solutions whether solutions to budgeting our money, meeting our goals, or completing assignments.

2. Keeping good relationships

Patience is necessary for listening to occur, and we understand others and how to be there for them when we listen to them.  Listening is the basis for good relationships.  Therefore, patience allows us to keep good relationships.  However, sometimes we treat people as we treat computers and phones, which is, “What can I get from them, and how long is it going to take?”

We should not think about what our friends can do for us, but what we can do for our friends.  If people in any kind of relationship think in this manner whether it applies to friends, siblings, or spouses, they will better relationships.

3. Building and achieving goals

Most of the meaningful things we do result from our making them goals.  Goal-setting is intentional, and that requires patience.  It could be as simple as going through college and getting an education.  This is a goal we have, and we know when to apply, what classes to take and when, and usually, we graduate within a foreseen timeframe.  To be able to achieve a goal such as this requires patience, and it leads to perseverance.  Patience also leads to discipline (which interestingly comes from the Latin word for student discipulus).  Discipline, as a result of patience, helps you determine when to do something and when not to do in order to achieve your goals.  An example is if all your friends are going out, and you have a final tomorrow, your discipline kicks in and tells you to continue studying.  Patience leads to all these results.

4. Avoid making wrong decisions

Patience helps you avoid making impulsive reactions.

Patience gives us time to see things as they really are.  Frequently, we misperceive things, and this is usual when we react quickly (impatiently).  For example, if you have an acquaintance who is very angry and in a bad mood one day, and you react quickly, then the whole situation will blow up in your face quickly.  But sometimes, when we step back, we can see that these same people are going through a hard time, and instead of reacting quickly, we can think about how to be there for them in their hard times.

Now, how do impatience and technology interact?

1. Communicating

“I want an answer, and I want it now!” or “I must answer and reply now!”  We have probably felt this way at one time or another when messaging, right?  Texting and digital communications for the most part help us grow our impatience, but regardless we are still dealing with humans at the other end, and this type of behavior will cause a strain in the relationship between the two people at either end.

2. Purchasing

One click purchasing is a company’s best friend when it comes to an impatient and impulsive person.  When mixed with impatience, digital purchasing, like texting with impatience hurts you and others, but unlike the above, it is more strongly felt and can have much larger consequences like you coming short of rent money, not being able to pay your bills, and hurting the relationship between you and those who depend on you by making them lose trust in you.  Unlike before the digital revolution where we had to get dressed, turn on our cars, drive to department stores, look around, find what we want, and walk to the cashier (which gave us time to think through what we were doing and change our minds), we can now purchase from the internet while in our bed and pajamas, and we do not get that time to think.  Impatience has its way.

3. Knowledge

How many of us know someone who always utters something and it is slightly incorrect?  This is due to impatience.  These people probably see a headline on the internet or read something quickly off the internet and do not bother to check whether it is fully accurate.  A steady building of correct and accurate knowledge only comes with patience.  It requires one to read, think, corroborate, and apply before accepting knowledge as correct.  Impatience hurts learning, and if the knowledge you are trying to apply is practical, then it may hurt you as well.

4. Valuation

Value is determined by rarity and a setting apart of time for a specific activity.  With the impatient, nothing has value.  For the impatient, the moment something comes up is the moment they deal with it.  This means that all events really have the same value because no different action is taken when things come up except to deal with them on the spot or as soon as possible.  This is extremely problematic for all of the above reasons and is perhaps the root cause of impatience, that things do not have different value from each other.

The things that matter most in life are born by patience: meeting and getting to know your future spouse, listening to your loved ones, raising your children, getting your education, becoming highly skilled at your profession, and having a positive impact on those around you.

What good things have happened to you because you had patience?  What bad results have you seen from impatience?