Early on in my career, when I was still a substitute teacher, I came across a sight that bothered me.  There were several students sitting in the front row of the class, and they were on their phones.  What bothered me was not so much that they were on their phones, but that they absolutely did not make any type of contact with each other.  I found out they were friends, and I walked by and told these students that life was going to pass them by, and they would not always be near each other like they were now.  I told them to get off of their phones and to talk with each other face to face.

I saw that what I said made the students think, but I also noticed some of them were still inching back to their phones.  So, I did something radical; I told them that if they put their phones away, I would not check to see if they were working.  They put their phones away, and I saw the magic that comes when people interact face to face, the way they were made to interact.  I monitored them closely, and to my surprise, they pulled out their work, started working, and continued speaking with each other.

Those students learned an important lesson that day.  They learned a little bit more about what the value of life means.  We only have certain people in our lives for so long a time, and we should value that time with them because one day we will not have that gift of being with those people.

Picture © Daniel Hanna 2013

I also learned that day.  I learned that even in the midst of this age of technological addiction that when people are given the chance, they can develop the value of life, but it is up to us who know how to value life to teach and give others the opportunity to develop their ability to value life.  I see too many parents, priests, teachers, and generally older people complain that younger people do not value anything but their phones and social media.  But, I wonder, have they actually taught these people to value life?  Have they positively explained to them why it is important and not just complained about what they see?  It does not take that long.  All it takes is clear communication and an opportunity to practice.

Practicing valuing life helps us in two major ways throughout our entire lives:

1. Valuing life gives us experience to grow

When I was in my first year of college, I was in a sociology class.  There was an interesting lesson where the teacher asked us to identify our values, where we got them from, and why we kept them.  We had to stand in front of the class and speak.  I had a classmate who stood up in front of the class, and with college culture where youth are willfully abandoning their parental upbringing, I was surprised by his response.  He talked about his parents’ values, and the teacher questioned him, and he replied that they would always be a part of him and his own values, but in addition he also wanted to form his own values.

It made me think that valuing life and relationships like those with our parents ingrains values in us.  Without good and solid relationships, values cannot be ingrained in us.  Important life values such as the love of reading, or the love of learning, being successful, dealing well with people, understanding others, and helping others can only be formed from seeing and being with others whom we value who themselves hold these values.

2. Valuing life teaches us to make right decisions

Scarcity and finality are what determine value.  Nothing is more final than human death.  Death, above all, teaches us value.  It is the most serious and predictable event in human life and relationships.

I was in a coffee shop a couple of weeks ago, and as I was sitting and reading, two people sat at the table next to me.  Both were on their phones.  They were talking loudly, and I heard that a friend of one of them was in the hospital and was likely going to die.  When I heard them discussing it, their words showed concern, but their tone sounded happy.  I could not tell how they saw this person’s predicament, but it bothered me because I could perceive there was no valuing of life here.

The value of life teaches us to make decisions.  Should we work overtime, or should we go see our child’s performance at school?  Should we work an extra month, or should we take that month off during the summer to spend with the family?  Should we go to our family reunion, or should we go on another trip that we could go on any other time?  A healthy sense of valuing life helps us make right decisions, be at peace with our decisions, and grow with those whom we love.

I can’t help but wonder if those who are addicted to phones, social media, and inauthentic ways of interacting will miss out on life.  Sadly, more and more I see people staring at screens than talking with friends.  Eventually, these people will not be able to easily value life, and when that happens they will lose the experiences that make us human and allow us to live fully.  They will also not be able to make right decisions because they are too busy watching their apps for updated statuses or new downloads.

Phones and social media can be used to certainly ingrain values and to teach people the value of life.  I remember social media helped me regain and firmly establish lasting contact with my friends after I moved far away from my hometown.  The difference between now and then is that back then we grew up knowing the value of relationships and life, and we applied that to social media and technology.  Social media was just a tool to help us grow the relationships we already had.  Now, it is quite the opposite.  Often, people apply how they use social media and technology to how they treat their friends and acquaintances.

What types of values have you received from those that are closest to you?  What is one decision you remember making based on your value of others?  Did you ever grow a relationship that you already had through social media?